Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Lashing Out
Have you ever been in a situation where you had absolutely no intention of lashing out at someone? You are perfectly in control one minute, and the next second you explode...for no apparent reason in front of a co-worker? You may be frustrated, worried, angry, or uncertain of how the economy is affecting your business. It’s bad enough to have this kind of reaction in the privacy of your home, but in the workplace it can have a deadly consequence to your interaction with your team.
Since you don’t know the “lashing out” is coming, there is little you can do to prepare yourself for this extreme emotional response. However, there are things you can do afterwards to recover.
How to Recover From an Emotional Outburst
1) BREATHE! Stop talking and take several deep calming breaths.
2) If possible, excuse yourself for a couple of minutes to continue calming down and think about what triggered your response. If you cannot step away, apologize for your reaction and ask if the person is willing to talk about what just happened.
3) Be honest with yourself. What are the feelings you are having? Acknowledge them. Determine if something else is going on in your life, and you happened to take it out on the person in front of you.
4) Be honest with the other person. Put your behavior into context by explaining what you were thinking about when the outburst occurred. Did I already say APOLOGIZE? If you haven’t, now is a good time to reassure the other person that this is not your normal response.
You increase your leadership credibility by openly discussing the behavior rather than acting like it never happened. Team members want to be confident you are worthy of their trust. Do not destroy the relationships you’ve built - now is not the time to adopt a cavalier attitude.
Until next time...live like you mean it!
Marjorie