Sunday, August 12, 2007
None of Your Business
I recently received an email from a friend who passed along this advice: “What other people think of you is none of your business.”
My first reaction was, “You are wrong. It most definitely is my business to know what other people think of me!” I started wondering…
If I don’t know what people think, then how can I improve?
If I can’t improve, then how will I know there is progress?
If there is no progress, then how do I know what value I bring to an organization?
If I don’t bring value, then what difference am I making in the life of others?
And, in that last thought was the essence of my dilemma. I would venture a guess that most leaders want to make a difference in the life of those they lead. I certainly do, but got trapped in thinking I need to change depending on the current team I am leading. Not so!
You need to be clear in who you are as a leader—what are your core characteristics and abilities; how do you communicate; what personal beliefs are most important to you. Regardless of the team you are leading, your fundamental nature should not change. You are who you are. You’ve been shaped by education, experience, and the work environment.
Leaders who constantly change their style based on expectations of their current team members fall prey to disillusionment, and will not stay true to themselves. The more you mold yourself to the team - and not who you really are - the greater your dissatisfaction with yourself and the team will be.
It is more honest to show your true leadership style rather than placate a boss or specific team members. Do not adjust how you lead a team just to get everyone to like you. First, it will never happen. Second, you serve no one (clients, peers, team members) by wearing a mask. The charade will not last long because your performance will decline. It’s better to find an organization whose values mirror your own rather than change yours just to get a job. Have the courage to find the organizational fit that best matches your core values. The wait will be worth it.
So, I’ve change my mind about wanting to know what other people think of me—it really is none of my business.
Until next time...live like you mean it!
Marjorie