Wednesday, March 05, 2008
Subterfuge - Avoiding Reality
Have you heard the expression - “The pink elephant in the middle of the room that everyone walks around”?
The idea here is that there is an issue (the pink elephant); very obvious (in the middle of the room); that every person involved in the situation avoids acknowledging (walks around). In fact, they do their best to ignore reality and not admit their is a problem. It morphs into something completely different!
I saw this in action not too long ago when several team members could not face having an honest conversation about another person’s work performance. Over the course of many months, they had talked in such circles that they completely forgot the original problem. They somehow convinced each other that it wasn’t just 1 issue but 6!
How can a team get so far off course that it damages (sometimes permanently) individual team relationships? How do you, as their leader, stop inappropriate behavior and get the team back on track?
Outcomes for a team who avoid reality:
* A lack of trust is evident when members are not honest about issues.
* Trust is difficult to earn back after members create a deception around the issue.
* Wasted time increases when members plan elaborate maneuvers just to avoid speaking truth to someone.
* Morale decreases because others witness poor behaviors.
What a leader can do:
* Pay attention to what happens each day. Your team didn’t derail overnight—the small side conversations added up over time.
* Talk to all parties involved to clearly understand the situation - get a complete picture.
* Ask open-ended questions to obtain information and solicit dialogue.
* Get to the root cause of the problem; determine a course of action (you may need to include the entire team).
* Coach everyone on the behaviors you want to see or they have agreed to live by.
* Make sure each person has an acceptable skill level for giving and receiving feedback, verbal communication, handling difficult conversations, and conflict resolution.
A major clue that something is wrong in your team is if members want to talk with you “in confidence.” When you hear those words begin exploring the situation. It takes patience and persistence.
Until next time...live like you mean it!
Marjorie