Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Support a Grieving Team Member
In Memory of my Step-Dad, Robert Meyer (1927-2010) - You will be missed!
Most leadership programs begin with a description of the attributes of the leader. A leader has vision, courage, and inspires others. All of that is important but, for me, leadership is also a journey toward wholeness.
Your leadership journey starts by looking inward to understand WHY you are here and WHAT it is that you are here to do. Before you can lead others, you have to discover yourself. A leader today cannot impose himself on others; he makes himself available to others. Nothing is more powerful than someone who knows who they are.
It is in the knowing of yourself that you have the ability to help a team member who is suffering. Most organizations have clearly defined funeral/bereavement leave for any death, sometimes even non-family members. One study conducted by the University of California concluded that “employees did find support from the workplace. Co-workers and supervisors attended funerals, provided food, helped with travel arrangements, and sent flowers or cards.”
Yet, grief does not heal within the typical 3-day leave. What else can you as a leader do to support a team member going through the grief cycle?
Consider:
• Temporary reduction in workload
• Providing a good listening ear. Sincerely ask how they are doing.
• Offering to transfer employee closer to family, if possible
• Give a book on grieving
• Collect cash to help offset unexpected funeral expenses
• Make phone calls to ‘just check in’
• Provide additional time off if they are having an especially bad day trying to cope with grief
• Do not pretend everything is fine and nothing happened
• Do something concrete rather than just making an offer to help
• Allow them to take Sick Leave (rather than Bereavement Leave) if your company has a strict interpretation of the word “family.” These days, many folks have been raised by aunts and uncles rather than biological parents.
Elizabeth Kuhbler-Ross said, “The most beautiful people we have know are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, sensitivity and an understanding of life that fills them with compassions, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.”
Remember, grieving is a long process.
Employees who are allowed to fully grieve are more likely to return to work sooner and concentrate better than those who lack support. And, a good listener who does not pass judgment or make gratuitous suggestions is priceless. Be that priceless leader!
Until next time...lead like you mean it!
Marjorie